Pummeled and Polished – the Waves are Changing

It’s scary to think about next year, not knowing what’s going to happen. In the past, planning the new year always started at around this sort of time for me, but this year uncertainty cloaks everything and I am barely going from week to week. My life is a bit nomadic. Every three years or so the waves of normality are thrown off course and I am forced to make a drastic move outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes I feel like a grain of sand or piece of shell, polished by the waves, but tossed about crazily. My normality has become change. I look at my friends with their comfortable plans and routines that never seem to differ as the weeks and months wear on. I look at my own life and I start feeling restless, like, I never want to stay in the same place twice. I want to see new things, I don’t want to get caught up in the same old stuff as everyone around me. I want to do big things, experience gigantic opportunities that are mindblowingly unheard-of-ly amazing! I want to become an island kid, or live in a hut on the mountainside. I want to become a musician, a famous one, but then leave that career to pursue the quieter life of a writer…I want to become well known, but stay completely anonymous. I don’t want to be just another grain of sand in the vast beaches of the coast. I want to escape the turmoil of swirling waves…I want to create my own waves and live in the adventure of those. I want to know that I can be ambitious and be able to reach those dreams, to be able to make them reality. I want to be different and to do something different. I want to change.

This next year is looking to be an adventure of a different kind. I’m not sure what is going to happen but the options are scary huge. I could not have ever imagined doing things like this, but I have to wait for the waves to hit me before I know their strength. So I stand. Waiting. Expectant.

The Happiness Compilation

The Happiness Compilation

This really made me smile going into the week 🙂

Society Obsession

Why, as today’s society, are we so obsessed with everyone else’s business and yet, we are determined to stay hidden? If all we desire is privacy and the ability to live our lives quietly, how do we have the right to know every intimate detail about how the rest of the world is living? How fulfilling is it to read celebrity scandal anyway? It does nothing for our hearts and doesn’t uplift our standing as people…we are just using others to make ourselves feel better about the things we do, as it then seems like we are doing okay, not being involved in all the crap that “they” are. However, if that is our reasoning, we too have a lot of crap we need to overcome. Why do we allow ourselves to be caught up in the lie that says we can use other people to make us feel better about ourselves. We deserve to continue feeling terrible in this case, and maybe instead of reading that next tabloid paper or magazine we should just try to live better lives ourselves instead of engaging self-justification.

Quote for the day :D

What’s important is not how we get a dream, but whether we have one, and whether we will allow God to work in our lives so that He can accomplish what He had in mind when He gave it to us. – David Seamands

Half a Million Secrets

I found this talk and idea very touching. It’s such a simple thing but it’s so powerful. You can also check out the website at http://postsecret.com and there are thousands of other inspirational TED talks over here. I discovered them through the online psychology course I was taking a few months back, they are so amazing, they made me watch this one and I’m very glad that I did! 😀

Blue x

Hermit crab

I think the crucial thing in the writing career is to find what you want to do and how you fit in. What somebody else does is of no concern whatever except as an interesting variation. – James A Michener

I’m trying to write this post – my first in months – while struggling to get my head around a million different things. I want to run away and start a new blog somewhere…I keep writing words and then deleting them. Do I long for the feeling of anonymity that comes with a fresh new unknown website? I write words now, and wonder what you guys will think as you read them..I’m no longer just writing for the sake of writing. Something has gone wrong there. I miss the feeling of writing to people with peace in my heart and no stress about their response…and without scrapping every article as unworthy of publishing, even on this humble platform of mine. What has become of the passion that fired within me? I feel restricted without it.

There are so many words I want and need to write and yet as every second passes, I feel like I have less and less time to record them. And the feeling of hurry renders me lost for words to describe everything on my mind. What if for once I could record something and I wouldn’t be scared to show it to  the world…? what if for once I could break my barriers and give my work to my friends not fearing their reply..? Why do I have to be so guarded and only ever ask the opinions of people I don’t really know? And WHY am I so scared to write for others, I mean, a writer’s dream is to be heard…so why on earth do I need a sorry little hidey-hole!?!?

Why do writers hide? Ours should be a profession of the fearless and the strong…yet why are so many of us stuck in our shells, scared to come out when anyone is near. A lot like the hermit crabs down by the lagoon, when someone appears we disappear despite our large pincers/claw-things (yeah, what do they call them? 😛 ) that we have to fight back and protect ourselves…what terrifies us about the world we inhabit? Writers are dreamers, and dreamers have what often turns out to be the most powerful gift. The power in words is enormous. We, as writers, need to grasp hold of that truth and leave our little dark holes, to build our stories in the light where we, and others, can see them for their power. Why am I still terrified even though I know what I want, and how to get it? Why is this world such a scary place to me? Why do I ever let it overwhelm me?

Blue x

Ps. I hope to stick around for a while this time, I really need to start blogging again. Even though I find it hard, I miss you guys still x